Jennifer M. Shlomovich
As a former people-pleaser I understand the fear, guilt, shame and anxiety that is life consuming. I felt I needed to be who others wanted me to be in order to be loved and accepted. I didn’t know who I really was and I didn’t take the time to figure that out for myself. This made it easy for others to decide that for me. I ignored the toxic behavior of others, always trying to focus on their good qualities. This made me an easy target for toxic relationships because I would doubt my feelings. I also was afraid to make decision out of fear that I would do something that would upset someone else. I spent a lot of time walking on egg shells and frequently shutting out my feelings and going numb. On the outside I was always the nice one eager to help, on the inside I was lost and miserable. Deep down I was secretly envious of those who felt confident being themselves and expressing it.
On May 4, 2007 I received a phone call that changed my life forever. My mom had a heart attack and was unconscious in the hospital. A few days later she passed away. I felt sad about all the things my mom kept saying she wanted to accomplish "one day" but never did. She kept ignoring her needs and pushing aside her dreams to try and solve the problems of others . Sadly "one day" never came for her. This lead to me taking an honest look at my life and how I was behaving the same way she was. I decided to get help and went to therapy. It was a painful process at first but about after a month it was like a cloud had lifted. For the first time I started connecting to myself and respecting myself. This did not sit well with those who benefited from my low self-esteem.
"The only people who get upset about you setting boundaries are the ones who were benefiting from you having none." - Unknown
I am now a certified coach and received my coaching certification from iPEC (Institute For Professional Excellence in Coaching). I specialize in helping women who struggle with confidence and people-pleasing, create a life of freedom, joy and peace.